


The Woman

by angelbbbyy420



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:07:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28039656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelbbbyy420/pseuds/angelbbbyy420
Summary: The Warden smiled. “It might just be your lucky day and mine. “You’re a bounty hunter, right?”Here we go, Din thought. “I was in the Guild.”The Warden nodded. “Well, I can’t promise credits, but I will give you all the supplies you need if you rid us of this ghost.”Din looked down at the Child. Was it worth it? “What do you think?” Din asked the kid.The child babbled nonsense back.Din nodded. “You have a deal.”---While stopping for supplies on an outer rim planet, Din Djarin is asked to help save a community from a  strange woman plaguing their town. When he finally meets her face to face he uncovers new secrets that will change his life. Set in the early part of season 2 this fic is written from Din's perspective. I wanted to give some context to his feelings towards the Child and on how their little family dynamic might change if a love interest is introduced.
Relationships: Baby Yoda (The Mandalorian TV) & Din Djarin & Original Female Character(s), Baby Yoda (The Mandalorian TV) & Original Character(s), Baby Yoda (The Mandalorian TV) & Original Female Character(s), Baby Yoda (The Mandalorian TV)/Din Djarin, Din Djarin & Original Character(s), Din Djarin & You, Din Djarin/Original Character(s), Din Djarin/Original Female Character(s), Din Djarin/Reader, Din Djarin/You
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31





	The Woman

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my first language sorry for mistakes!   
> its real make shit up girl hours!  
> This is my first long plot heavy original character fic so PLEASE be kind! I am also still learning the lore, history, and rules of the Star Wars universe so if this isn't like 100% perfect please please please be kind! But also its fan fic so we can all suspend our belief lol!!!  
> I had a lot of fun writing this i am going to do a part two so hopefully people read this and enjoy but if not its fun and I'm doing ti for myself!  
> My hope is that people will read this and be like "wow i feel like I just watched an episode!"  
> also BIG BIG BIG BIG shout out to @nothing_but_a_comedy for helping me so so much with this!

Batuu was everything that Din expected. Desert, remote, and hopeless. Not the ideal spot to stock up on supplies but it was remote, which meant it would be discreet. 

He landed the Razor Crest far from the main town. He didn’t want to draw more attention to himself.

“Come on kid, let's go see what we can find.” He lifted the Child into his arms.

As usual, the Child reached for his visor, as if to remove it. Din knew the Child wanted to see his face. Anytime he ate or drank in front of the kid, he could see him trying to look.

The Child’s hand rested on the visor, and he babbled happily.

“Yeah, I know. Let’s go.” Din pretended to understand what he said. That was their way together, the Child would mumble baby talk and Din would respond as if he had spoken understandable words.

The Razor Crest opened up, and sharp sand winds whirled around the ship.

“Looks like it’s going to be a long walk.”

The Child snuggled closer to Din, and they started the long walk to town.

___

The town was a crumbling collection of old buildings and huts. As Din walked further into town he could hear the sounds of laughter and the drinks being poured. The Cantina.

He looked woefully at the Child, feeling sorry that the merriment would of course come to an abrupt stop when they entered. The Child happily gazed up, seemingly so wise behind his big bug eyes.

“Come on kid, lets get this over with.”

Din opened the door and entered. The room instantly went silent. No more than a handful of men sat around two tables. They froze in the presence of the Mandalorian, no doubt one of the first they had seen.

“Can I help you?” One of them asked. He was thin but dignified man. Clearly he was in charge here.

“I need to restock my ship. I’m short on some essential supplies.”

“We have all that you might need here.” Some of the men side-eyed each other. Something else was going on here.

“It’ll cost you.” One of them said, snickering.

The leader held up his hand. “You are Mandalorian?”

Din rolled his eyes. _Always the same questions_. “Yes.”

The leader stood. “Come walk with me.”

___

“I am the Warden here. As you can see, we have fallen on hard times.”

Din could see, the buildings were in desperate need of repairs, many houses were abandoned. The town felt sad, empty.

“What happened?” Din thought of all the small towns he had passed through with the Child. Each required him to lend his talents to killing some monster that plagued the town. He figured that this would be no different.

“Now there is a story.” The Warden stopped and looked at Din. “Do you believe in ghosts?”

“Ghosts?” _What the fuck_? Din thought to himself. Even the Child made a strange noise.

“I know it sounds silly, but I don’t know what else to call it.” The Warden shook his head. “Her.”

Din crossed his arms. “Go on.”

They stood at the edge of town, the sun setting for a second time that day.

“Now I’m not one for superstition but they always said this land was cursed, that we were never supposed to come here. All my life I heard stories about how my people came and conquered Batuu, tamed the land. And the land turned out to be profitable. They found the mines, precious gems, things like that. Things were good for a while. The mines were making money, the community was thriving. Until about a year and a half ago that is, when it started, when she came.”

The Warden looked at Din out of the corner of his eye, as if to see if Din was still paying attention.

“Now, at first it was little things that would go missing. Some cups from somebody’s house, clothes off the line. And then it was livestock. And then it was men. Men would go into the mines and never come out. There would be no accident, no sign of a struggle. Nothing. Just gone. Then men started refusing to go work, claiming that there was something there, something they couldn’t quite understand. They started talking about seeing a woman with white hair, blazing red skin, unnaturally beautiful. The community believed her to be a ghost of the old people, coming back to kill us all for living off their land. So, people started leaving. Just up and left. They claimed that it was better to abandon their lives here than be killed by the ghost. Everybody said this land was cursed, and people started to believe it. I thought the stories were nothing but superstitious miner’s talk, but then one day, my boy went missing in the mines.” 

The Warden stopped, overcome by his emotions. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, wiping a tear off his cheek. “But my boy didn’t need to die.” 

The Warden kicked a rock. The stale air hugged the two men as the Warden finished his story.

“Mando, I need my men to work. I can’t have people scared to live here.” 

“Why are you telling me this?” Din asked, skeptical of the story, or rather, he was skeptical of the Warden’s interpretation of events. Of course, it was possible that some woman had come to the planet and was raiding the town. Din knew that was common in the outer rim. But a ghost? That seemed a little ridiculous.

The Warden smiled. “It might just be your lucky day and mine. “You’re a bounty hunter, right?”

 _Here we go_ , Din thought. “I was in the Guild.”

The Warden nodded. “Well, I can’t promise credits, but I will give you all the supplies you need if you rid us of this ghost.”

Din felt both annoyance and relief. Annoyed that he would have to complete this silly little task before continuing on his quest, relieved because he was running short on credits. _All the supplies for free? That’s a tough offer to refuse._

Din looked down at the Child. Was it worth it? “What do you think?” Din asked the kid.

The child babbled nonsense back.

Din nodded. “You have a deal.”

___

The Warden took Din to the entrance to the caves. “You’ll find her here. But Mando, be warned. Men who have seen her have reported that she is unnaturally beautiful. She’ll make you feel safe, and then,” he made a slicing motion with his finger across his neck. “You’re dead.”

“I think I can handle it.”

“I don’t think you understand.” The Warden said. “The killing is strategic. Calculated. You be on your watch.”

Din gestured to his armor. “You asked for my help for a reason.” 

“And try not to destroy our mines! We still need to live!” the Warden’s voice called after Din as he entered the caves.

___

The caves were long tunnels crisscrossing deeper and deeper into the planet. It was cold, then hot, then cold again. Din wondered if this was some sort of trap, a trick being played on him to steal his ship, or worse, kidnap the Child, who he had left sleeping peacefully in his cot. He didn’t want to think of that. He wanted to trust the Warden of the town. He had seemed desperate. But then again, the outlandish story about ghosts and superstition didn’t seem right to him. Din almost turned back, he could get supplies somewhere else, but something nagging in the back of his mind told him to keep going.

Finally, the tunnel opened into a cavern with bright gems filling the space. Water dripped from the ceiling, and the air felt thick, and smelled primordial.

And there, in the center of the cave stood a woman. She was small, short. She wore an ill fitting black cloak. She stood with her back to him, her long shocking white hair fell across her shoulders and back. For a moment, Din thought she might be an old woman, and he had been mistaken, and the Warden had been mistaken too, for how could this woman, who seemed so old be the one causing the town so much trouble? 

But then she turned, and Din felt for one very brief moment his heart stop.

He understood the Warden’s warning. Her skin was a brownish red. Her face was youthful, beautiful, oddly symmetrical, except for a thick scar that ran under her left eye. With full lips and high cheek bones, Din felt that he was looking at the most beautiful woman in the world.

“A Mandalorian.” She said. Even her voice sounded beautiful. Like honey melting. Din tried to read her face, but her big eyes, blinking against the glimmer of the gems gave away nothing.

“A bounty hunter?” She asked, almost teasing. Din wanted to speak but his mouth felt dry. _Snap out of it_ , he thought to himself. _Focus on the task at hand!_

“You have no bounty on your head.” Din remarked. That was true, of course. How could a ghost have a bounty on her head?

“Then why are you here?” She turned away, to face the cave wall behind her.

Din shook his head, it was a movement he would never have made in front of a stranger, let alone a stranger sent to kill at that. _So much for a strategic killer_ , he thought to himself.

“I was sent here by the Warden.”

“Yes, but why are you _here_?” She held her hands behind her back, taking a military stance.

Din didn’t want to tell her the truth, but there was something about her, he couldn’t help himself. Something about the way she spoke, the tonality of her voice made him feel a connection to her. The Warden had warned of this as well. Din felt like this was something else, something that he couldn’t put his finger on, he couldn’t stop himself from telling her of the Child, and of his quest.

“So, they sent you to kill me.” She said, still facing the wall.

“Yes.”

“After all these years of searching, and just when I thought I would never see beskar again, one of my own kind finds me. How interesting.” She turned around; hands still clasped behind her back.

“One of your own kind?” Din asked, confused.

She tapped under her eye, pointing to the large scar that ran across her cheek. “I’m one of the fallen ones, Mando. But now I am a woman bound by no creed,” and then she spoke words that Din hadn’t heard in many years, since he was a child, a foundling, still living amongst Mandalorians. “This is the way,” spoken in perfect Mando’a, the way those in the Death Watch said it.

Din was reminded of a memory he thought he had long forgotten, a gloved hand reaching down for him, a shining visor amid the chaos of war.

“I don’t understand.” Din’s mind began to race. “You’re Mandalorian?”

“I was raised Mandalorian. But like I said, I am a woman bound by no creed.”

 _She should be dead for breaking with Death Watch,_ Din thought. “How are you still alive?” He asked.

“They tried to leave me for dead.” She said, “They stripped me of my beskar and tried to kill me.” She stopped, as if speaking the words made her recall the memory. Her eyes looked lost, like she was looking for something far away. “But I am a survivor you see. A foundling. I can’t seem to give up.” A dry smile crossed her beautifully symmetrical face.

Din didn’t know what to say. He felt angry at this woman for betraying the Mandalorian Creed, for allowing her face to be seen. He didn’t understand why she would want to give up their ways. And to be a member of the Death Watch, she would be a highly trained killer. Even more so than he.

She was watching him, understanding that he was processing this new information.

After a moment she asked, “So, should we fight?” Her head cocked playfully to the side, but Din could see the look of a killer on her face.

“I was sent to kill you, but I don’t know if I should.”

“Why not?” The tone of her voice was almost condescending. Din could tell that she wanted him to be intrigued, that she wanted him to ask her more questions. And he did have questions. He could think of a million things to ask her, but he didn’t want to seem ignorant of his own people’s history and religion.

“I know I won’t win. And I have the Child to think of.” _The Child that was hopefully still asleep, safe on the ship._

She smiled. He was right, he could never win against her, and so in a way, she had already won.

“If we were still brethren, I would of course, be obligated to help you on this quest in some way.”

Din’s hand rested on his blaster, still not sure if she was telling the truth. She noted the movement but didn’t seem to care.

“Of course.” He said, trying to keep his voice even.

“Now, I could help you anyways, and in a way helping you, would be helping myself.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re looking for more Mandalorians?”

Din nodded.

“I too am looking for Mandalorians. Or I had been. I had almost given up hope until you walked in.” She smiled again, and Din had to remind himself to keep breathing.

“Why are you looking for Mandalorians?”

“To avenge myself.”

She slowly walked towards him, her hands out, offering peace.

“What do you think, Mando? Help me help you?”

He wanted to say no. But he thought of the Child and his oath to the Armorer. But perhaps, with help, he would have a better chance at finding more of his kind and completing his quest.

“How do I know I can trust you?”

She smiled. “You can’t.” Her face softened. “We are similar, you know. When I look at you, I see myself. Don’t you feel the same?”

The memory flashed again through Din’s mind. The gloved hand reaching for him. His parent’s dead beside him.

 _A fellow foundling,_ Din thought. He couldn’t help but think of how nice it would feel for once to be understood by someone. So, he agreed. And he felt selfish. He knew he really only said yes because he wanted his questions answered.

___

Outside of the caves, Din turned to look at her. She had pulled the cloak over her head. He tried to picture her in beskar. He couldn’t.

“What do I tell the Warden?”

“Give him this.” She reached for her face and pulled out a small ring that was pierced through her nose. Din hadn’t noticed it before.

“Beskar?” He said, holding the small ring between his fingers.

“The only thing they let me keep.”

“What should I call you?”

She looked into the distance, her eyes glossy, like she had been crying.

“My name is Kida.” 

___

Din woke to find the child missing from the cot. On high alert, he reached for his blaster and made his way through the ship.

Climbing the ladder to the cockpit, Din began to hear muffled whispering.

The Child was sitting on Kida’s lap. One of his tiny hands was wrapped around her thumb, the other was tangled in her long hair. Kida was whispering to him, their eyes intently locked on each other.

“What are you doing?” Din asked, feeling protective over the Child. He didn’t want him being touched by the woman who was still very much a stranger.

“He couldn’t sleep, and neither could I.” She smiled down at the Child.

“I’m awake now, I’ll take him.” Defensive over the Child, Din tried to grab him from her. The Child leaned away, hiding himself behind Kida’s hair. Din frowned; the kid had never done that before.

“I said I wouldn’t harm you or your child.”

“He’s not _my_ child, he’s _a_ child.” Din didn’t believe the words, but he said them anyways. It was true though, however much Din cared for the Child, he wasn’t _his_ child.

“Are you sure about that?” Kida asked, shifting her body to face Din. She laughed. “Mandalorians are all the same, never showing true emotion.” She turned her attention back to the Child. “I feel very comforted by him, something about him brings me peace.”

Din nodded. “I know, I can’t explain it, but he has that effect on people.”

“On you?” She looked up, already knowing the answer.

“Yes, on me.” Din kneeled next to Kida, his hand reached for the Child, who took Din’s finger in his hand. “He can do other stuff. He has…powers.”

Kida turned, her face surprisingly close to Din’s. “Powers?”

Din tried not to look at her. He felt nervous about the proximity. He cleared his throat. “Yeah, he can move stuff.” He moved his other hand, imitating the kid. “It’s like magic, he just moves it with his mind.”

“You know what that means right?”

Din turned, his face just inches from Kida’s. He could see her long eyelashes brushing against the tops of her cheeks.

 _Imagine touching_ …He stopped himself from thinking that way. He stood abruptly. “No what does that mean?”

She scoffed. “Don’t lie. You know. And it scares you.”

“No what scares me is that I don’t know anything about you, and I’ve invited you onto my ship, with my kid.”

Kida’s lips twitched into a small smile at “my kid.”

“I would be glad to tell you what you want to know,” She said. “But first, we’ve got company.”

___

Two New Republic X-wing fighters became visible on the Razor Crest’s radar.

“We’re going to have to shake them.” Kida said, passing the Child to Din, and taking a seat in the captain’s chair.

Din and the Child looked at each other, confused. No one but Din captained the Razor Crest.

“Our best chance of evading them is to make a quick emergency landing. Once we are on a planet it’ll be easier to hide ourselves.”

Din shook his head. “They’ll probably still follow us.”

Kida shook her head. “Not if we land and start on foot. They won’t leave their fighters, it’s too risky.” She looked back at Din. “You have to trust me.”

Din pulled up the outer rim map on the radar to locate their position.

“We could make it to Endor.”

“Endor?” Kida asked, alarmed.

Din was surprised by her tone. “Do you have a better suggestion? Given the circumstances I don’t think we get to be picky.”

Kida’s hands grabbed the ship’s controls tighter. “No, Endor is fine. I know the planet well.”

The ship barrel rolled in the direction of Endor, but the X-wing fighters stayed close in formation. The Razor Crest groaned as Kida suddenly changed direction. The ship shook from the force of her abrupt turn, but the move did seem to confuse the fighters.

“Careful!” Din warned, feeling powerless as Kida controlled the ship. He sat in the passenger seat and held tightly onto the Child.

Corkscrewing around, Kida expertly maneuvered the ship away from the New Republic ships.

The X-wing fighters were still beeping on the radar, closing in now that they could see the Razor Crest was trying to avoid engagement.

“They’re still on us.”

“I know!”

“They’re going to follow us on Endor!”

“I know!” Kida flipped a switch on the control panel as Endor came into view. “Get ready for this entrance, it’s not going to be pretty.”

Din unhappily complied as he strapped himself and the Child in.

The X-wing fighters appeared on either side of the ship.

“Razor Crest this is—” Kida turned the transponder off.

“Shut up.” She mumbled under her breath.

The fighters continued to get closer to the Razor Crest, their pilots clearly agitated by the Razor Crest’s lack of respect for their authority.

As the ships began to break through Endor’s atmosphere, Kida turned around to look at Din and the Child.

“Are you ready?” She asked.

Din nodded, not sure what he needed to be ready for.

Kida waved to the X-wing pilots and then turned the whole ship off. The ship's engine sputtered as it died down.

The sensation was indescribable. The movement of the ship went from control to chaos. A well-practiced atmosphere entrance was never pleasant but Kida’s sudden decision to just let the ship free fall was nothing Din had experienced. With his stomach in his throat, he couldn’t even make a noise to express his discomfort. The sound of the wind punching against the ship’s metal exterior whipped through the cockpit, drowning out any noise Din or Kida made. Din looked down at the Child, happily screaming, enjoying the ride.

The Razor Crest sped through the atmosphere, entering Endor’s sky faster than usual.

Din understood. By allowing the gravity of the plant to pull the ship down, the Razor Crest had gained a massive amount of speed. The X-Wing fighters wouldn’t be able to keep up.

Just as suddenly as the ship entered it’s free fall did Kida restart the ship. The Razor Crest made an ungodly hiss as it attempted to restart itself midair.

“Kida.” Din called from the passenger. “We’re not going to make it.”

“Trust me!”

“Kida!”

Endor’s landscape was becoming clearer through the clouds.

“Trust me!”

With the trees in full view, Din felt his body shaking from fear.

“Kida! The kid! I have to think of the kid!” Din held the Child closer to him, his mind panicking at the thought of the full on collision with the ground, metal and fire scorching through Endor’s fine forest. He was scared that the child would suffer a painful death and that he wouldn’t be able to comfort him. 

“Trust me!”

Kida pulled the controls up and the Razor Crest shot upwards through the sky, just skimming the top of the planet’s trees.

Din felt like passing out. Relief flooded his body.

Kida swung the ship around and carefully and precisely landed in the middle of the forest.

_I’m never letting anyone else pilot my ship again._

_____

They disembarked the Razor Crest and began to move through the woods. “We should do a quick search of the area, to make sure that there aren’t any surprises nearby.”

“What about my ship?” Din asked, worried that the New Republic pilots might tamper with it in some way.

“The tree cover is thick here, it will be difficult for the fighters to spot the ship through the canopy. Once they do a quick search and find nothing they’ll leave.” 

She spoke with such authority on the matter than Din didn’t question her.

The Child giggled and babbled in response, clearly enjoying himself on this new adventure.

Kida tactfully moved through the forest, her white hair leading the way through the branches and underbrush.

She motioned for Din to come closer.

Pointing upwards, “You see that break in the trees?”

Din nodded.

“Judging by our landing we should be able to see the fighters leave from here.”

“So we wait?”

“We wait.”

And wait they did.

The Child grew restless in his satchel.

“I can hold him.” Kida offered, her kind smile warm against the increasingly chilly air.

The Child looked sidelong at Din before making a “pick me up” motion to Kida.

Din was surprised by the kid’s willingness to be with her. Although he usually didn’t mind being held by others, the Child was perceptive at picking up tension. In tense situations he preferred to be with Din.

“Yeah, take him.” Din passed the Child to Kida, and immediately the Child put her hair in his mouth.

“That’s not a snack, silly.” She gently chided him, her red skin blushing maroon.

Din was reminded of the caring smile of his own mother, a smile that he chose to forget because the memory was too painful to hold.

But Kida’s dimpled grin reminded him of being a young boy, watching his mother do chores humming to herself. He shook his head, trying to forget the memories of his past life. A life that was unreachable, no point in chasing ghosts.

The sky seemed to crack open and the two X-wing Fighters shot through the sky, exiting Endor’s atmosphere.

“Looks like we’re clear.” Kida turned to Din expectantly. Perhaps it was the found memories she had shaken alive in him, or perhaps it was the simple pleasure of seeing a beautiful woman with a child, but Din felt himself draw closer to her. He brushed her arm with his, the tension of the close call with the X-wing Fighters changed into something else, something heavier.

“What?” She asked, drawing away from him. “Why are you touching me?”

Din shook himself from his romantic meditation. He read her face plainly: fear.

“Let’s go back to the ship.” Din stood, feeling stupid for letting his feelings overcome his reason.

“We should make a fire tonight, it’ll get cold.”

“Won’t that make our position known, putting us in danger?”

Kida winked down at the Child. “I told you I know Endor well. We’ll be fine.”

___

The fire cracked between them. The Child curled himself in Din’s arms falling fast asleep as soon as they had made it to safety. Kida watched the flames spark and shine in the velvet darkness. Only her face was visible to Din, the rest of her was cloaked in the same darkness that sat around them.

“Can I ask you my questions now?” He asked, breaking the silence that had comfortably settled between them.

Kida’s eyes flashed to him. The thick scar under her eye shone against the flames. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything.”

She laughed. Din noticed she had dimples when she smiled. How lovely. 

“To tell you everything would take some time.”

Din shrugged. “We have time.”

“To begin, my name is Kida Mindar. But that is the name I have given myself. I was raised Tala Corren.

As a child I lived on Concord Dawn, raised by Soto Corren, who worked under General Frenn Rau. I was a foundling. Soto taught me Mando’a, and raised me as their own child. Soto told me nothing of my life before, only that they had saved me from being killed during a conflict on my home planet. I can’t remember my life before Soto. All I have known is the ways of Mandalore.

I was trained, as I’m sure you were, to be a warrior, a killer. Deep in my heart I only felt anger, a deep seated hate that I could not control. The more I learned of combat and violence the more that anger consumed me. I became a highly skilled warrior, and when I came of age and took the creed, I was given high rank within Death Watch. They gave me power and authority, and trust. At the time, Death Watch was all that I knew. But slowly I realized that perhaps the path that was chosen for me was not the path I wanted. I tried not to think these thoughts. I wanted to belong, I wanted to feel power. But power breeds corruption. And my uncontrollable anger made me easily swayed by those who wished to corrupt.

I committed acts of depravity, all the further some abstract cause pushed by Death Watch. But the only cause Death Watch had was total war, terrorism. Killing innocents, our own kind! I became conflicted, for how could my people show me so much love but turn around and allow such rage and hatred to fill their hearts? I wanted to escape, to leave, but my commitment to Soto, to the love I thought I had been shown as a child kept me in my place. How could I leave the only home I had ever known, who would I be without my beskar, my tools of destruction? 

One day, we were on patrol on Mon Cala, just doing routine checks. We ran across another crew who had been engaged near the town center. They began to go door to door, pulling out families, those who had taken shelter against the attack and killed them. I was powerless to stop the slaughter. The operation commander gave me an order to help “clear the way” out of town and so, I too had to kill mercilessly. I watched as my friends killed indiscriminately, killing families on purpose in order to separate children from their parents, to raise them as foundlings in Death Watch, to bolster our ranks. I was told this practice was common. 

Disgusted, I confronted Soto. I demanded to know if I had been ripped away from my parents on purpose, to become a killing machine too. Soto told me that I was from the planet Ando, a planet that had long been exploited by various powers for our resources. My people had been colonized and degraded for profit and control. At the end of the republic era, conflict broke out on my planet, and Death Watch came to help fight over control. Soto told me that I would have died if they hadn’t saved me, that I was saved for a higher purpose. But Soto killed my parents, and took me away, they turned me into a weapon, into a heartless killer.

Mandalore and our culture became tainted for me. I didn’t want anything to do with it. I wanted to leave but my love for Soto made me confused, clouded my judgement. I know now that what I felt for Soto wasn’t love, it wasn’t real love. Soto manipulated me, forced me to do things I would have never done in order to pay off the “debt” I owed them for raising me. I wish I had learned that lesson sooner. I begged Soto to let me leave, to find my own people, to begin my life again but they convinced me to stay. That I was duty bound to Death Watch. I believed them. So, I stayed. I continued to kill and harm. My heart was broken and the longer I stayed, betraying myself, the more my anger grew.

About a month after my confession that I wanted to leave, I was on a tactical mission with some of my crew. We were searching around Endor, which was further out than usual. I felt like something was wrong but I didn’t say anything. I let my guard down, I relaxed, feeling as thought I was among friends.

And then they struck. I was stripped of my beskar and beaten. They violated me and left me for dead. My body was broken, abused, and my soul cried for all that had happened to me. I wanted to die, I wanted to pay for my sins.

They left me on the planet to die.

I don’t know how long I lay bleeding in the middle of Endor’s forest. It felt like days. I was on the brink of death when a group of Ewoks foraging found me. They took me back to their settlement and nursed me back to health.

I stayed with them for years, regaining my strength, reconnecting with myself and with nature. I lost track of time, I’ll never know how long I spent here. Once I felt that I was strong enough, I left searching for my history. I wanted to know of my people, of my past. To discover who I might have been.

My search took me across the galaxy. But I could not find the answers I was looking for. The longer I searched, the more anger built in my heart again. My body had grown accustomed to violence and longed for it again.

I decided that I might never know my true past, but it didn’t matter, I was Mandalorian, and by right I deserved my beskar. I wanted revenge against those who had hurt me. But in the time I had spent on Endor recovering from my wounds and the time I had spent looking for my people, the Great Purge had happened. It was hard to find Mandalorians.

I didn’t want to give up. I had heard that on Batuu there might be an underground colony, and although the source was untrustworthy, I was consumed by the need to avenge myself. So, I went to Batuu. And what I found triggered a long-forgotten memory.

Batuu was being mined, the landscape scraped and burned for the fine gems that lay beneath the earth. It reminded me of my own planet, on fire, the earth scorched in search of priceless resources that many wanted to exploit.

I was filled with a rage I had never experienced in my life. So, I killed. Over and over again. It brought me solace, to feel the blood on my skin, to feel that I was doing the right thing, saving the planet from those who chose to destroy it.

But then I killed a child. The Warden’s. It was an accident, I didn’t mean to hurt someone so small, so perfectly made. My life felt meaningless, how had I strayed so far from my mission, from my true self? How had I allowed myself to be consumed by the anger I had so long hated in myself? How had I allowed myself to act as I had in Death Watch. Killing innocents for the sake of killing? I realized my anger was misplaced. These men had not wronged me, these men had not deserved to die. And as I lay there, the child dying in my arms, I vowed that I would not kill an innocent again. I would not commit violence for the sake of committing violence. I would only hunt those who deserved it, those who had harmed me.

I banished myself to the mines. I lived as though I was dead already. Men stopped working the mines, and the earth began to heal itself, but I could not heal my wounds. I have been broken for far too long. I had given up all hope. Until you found me. How fortunate? A Mandalorian who was searching for more Mandalorians. My quest can begin again. Once I avenge myself I can be at peace.

As Kida finished her story, Din felt a change in her presence. The air around them felt peaceful, as if her confession had changed the very essence of the world.

Din understood. He had never shared his whole story, only fragments here and there, but even what little he did share brought him comfort. Din could see that Kida needed to tell someone her history, to make it real by saying it out loud.

“Thank you.”

Kida looked up from the fire. “For what?”

“For showing yourself to me.”

“You need to be able to trust me. I hope now that I have shared my secrets, you can.”

Din looked down at the Child. His peaceful face rested against the crook of Din’s arm.

“I trust you.”


End file.
